Yesterday was the day we buried Rod's ashes. He finally is laid to rest after seven months. To me, this ceremony brought closure and was my final goodbye. Goodbye to Rod, our life together and our marriage. I needed this to completely say goodbye to the past and now am ready to keep moving on to my new future.


Bitterness and Six Months

It's been six months since Rod passed away. Most days it feels like so long ago, and I think, really, only six months?? I think that's my brain's way of dealing with it all. But some days, like this weekend and today, I am haunted by the memories. And not the good memories. The memories of that night, March 4th; the bad and scary memories. 


What a Girl Wants

Venturing back out into the dating world is a scary thing. At least for me it is. It's stepping out of my comfort zone. Putting myself out there. Facing the possibility of rejection. And there's the whole issue of meeting some weirdo. Which I think is inevitable. 


Dating as a Widow

The time has come to enter the dating world again. I know it is the right time for me, but it definitely isn't easy. After six years of only ever going out with my husband, I have to sit with a stranger and make conversation, be flirty, be cute and somehow come across as way more confident than I feel.

MONDAY, JULY 30, 2012

Most of All, I Am Happy

August 4th will be the five month mark since I lost my husband. Five months since the hardest day of my life. In the darkest of days, I had to say goodbye to the man who had stood by my side for the past six years. The man who took care of me and loved me with all my flaws.


The Countdown

In only three days, on July 15th, I will be "celebrating" the day I got married for the first time without my husband. It would have been our sixth wedding anniversary.
I've been asked a couple of times how I think I'm going to handle that day. How I will be feeling.
The truth? I have no idea.

MONDAY, JUNE 25, 2012

On the Ledge

After your spouse dies, how do you know how to move on with your life while still honoring your spouse? Right now I feel as if I'm standing on a ledge, balancing my life between grieving and moving on. Struggling with knowing what's right and when it's okay to let go.