Thursday, September 19, 2013

My Past, My Story

This post is a little off topic from where this blog has been heading lately. It's not about running, fitness or anything, but this has been weighing on my mind and I just need to share ....

My past is a story only I can own. It has shaped me into the person I am today. Do I live in the past? No. Do I let it have power over me? Not really. However, I do believe that my past reflects my decisions, my actions and even my fears. 

Recently I was told that I couldn't talk about my past because it's my past and doesn't matter anymore. I think that's a line of bull. My past does matter. It matters to me. I shared quite a bit about becoming a young widow on this blog as I was going through the emotions and I don't regret that. It's a part of my story. It's why I am the person I am today. I learned a lot from it and have become a better person because of it.

When I get into a relationship, I want to be free to share my past. The relationship I had with Rod, what it was like losing him and how that night changed my life forever. I think it's important to share this, for my future partner to understand that part of my life. To understand what I survived, how I moved on from the heartbreak, the pain and created a life that's completely different from the one I lived prior to March 2012. If someone doesn't want to hear my story, then I don't want them to be a part of life because, to me, that means that they don't want to know the whole me, the parts of my heart that ache, the parts of me that make me so driven and the parts of me that are broken.

Yes, my past is my past and I don't live there anymore. But it's my life story and I feel that it's important to embrace, to learn from, to move on from, and use as a lesson to shape my present and my future. It's my story, and I choose to share it with those who are closest to me. I wouldn't be me without it.

Until next time~

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