Sunday, June 9, 2013

Striving for Perfection

Here's a little secret - I'm not perfect. Shocking! I am a perfectionist though, and I struggle when I'm not doing something "perfectly." This doesn't apply to all areas of my life, but it definitely applies to my fitness and healthy eating. It doesn't make things easy; it drives me crazy often because I suffer from a lot of guilt when I'm not doing things "perfectly" or even getting the "perfect" results I want. I'm sure this strive for perfection drives some of my friends crazy, too!

Running right now has been a huge focus of my life. I want to become a runner. I guess I am a runner now! I've been out running as much as possible with this craptastic weather in Minnesota (sorry, sick of chilly, windy, rainy weather!), but I never feel as if I have "good" runs. Not that I even know what a good run is! I feel good while running and I think I do great, then I get home, check my time and average pace per mile and get disappointed. I want to be faster. I want to be able to run longer. I just want to be great, and I feel so far away from "great." What is great? Who am I comparing myself to - marathon runners? I started running outside not even a month ago and I know it takes time, but I'm struggling with being okay with how I'm doing. I have my first 5k coming up this Saturday and I'm anxious about it. I want to run fast and finish faster than any of these times: 

And then just keep running after the race to prepare for the next one! Yes, I think I'm going to become addicted to running races!

I struggle with perfection in my eating habits, too. Right now I'm cutting out grains, dairy, alcohol, legumes and enjoying lots of fresh veggies, fruit, eggs, nuts and meat. But I'm not perfect at this. I crave things such as Greek yogurt and real tacos. When I give into those cravings, I feel guilty. That dang food guilt haunts me! And sometimes I feel as if other people judge me as well. Judge me because of how I'm eating and then judge me if I eat some cheese or chocolate. I want to eat "perfectly" in my diet, always being healthy with every food choice I make, but sometimes that's hard.

I don't think my body will ever be "perfect." I don't even know what that means. I do know that I've made such strides in my progress with my body. The strength it is has amazes me. I love feeling strong, feeling fit and knowing that I can accomplish anything - like running a 5k! I have muscles and I'm so proud of them. Not perfect, a work in progress, and I'll keep working at it!

Love lifting weights and feeling strong!

And I'm starting to really see progress in my stomach - my most hated area. It's getting flatter and has a lot more definition. I still don't love it, but it's getting better! This is definitely an area I struggle with for perfection. I want my stomach to be flat with muscled definition, not a 6 pack, just flat with definition. Does that make sense? I suppose it's getting there. Some days I'm happy with it, other days I just hate it and think I have so far to go. I'm honestly scared to share this photo; I just don't think my stomach is flat enough to show. Ugh.

The pic on the left is from April 21, right is from today - getting smaller!

Are you a perfectionist and does it make you struggle with feeling good about workouts, your body and food choices? How do you get past that guilt or those struggles and just accept the things are?

Until next time~

1 comment:

  1. I am a perfectionist. I feel so guilty when I give into cravings and I don't enjoy what I eat. So then, it really is wasted calories. I just had a "moment" on Saturday where I was mad and frustrated with having to watch what I eat so carefully. But I just had to make myself realize that the occasional indulgence won't undo me...unless I let it. So if I'm going to eat chocolate or chips and guac, I better enjoy it!