Monday, February 4, 2013

Feeling {Not So} Beautiful

Lately I've been struggling with feeling beautiful and liking what I see in the mirror. I don't know if it's an issue with my weight loss or what, but every time I look in the mirror all I see are my flaws. I see the five to eight pounds I still want to lose, the flat stomach that still isn't there no matter how many crunches I do, the skin that constantly breaks out thanks to the birth control I'm on, the thighs that still aren't slim ... and on and on and on. How sad is that? I think that the most beautiful women are those who think that they're beautiful. So why can't I get there?

I feel as if a lot has changed these last few weeks and maybe that's why I've been feeling down on myself. Things that I can't control, and I severely dislike that loss of control.

I miss those daily "good morning, beautiful" texts I used to receive. Such a short message that meant so much to me to hear every day. Maybe I should just learn how to say that to myself every morning rather than relying on someone else. 

I've also being weighing myself twice a week. I should probably stop doing that and obsessing over those numbers. I'm still working out the same, eating healthy and my clothes fit me the same. Why do I feel the need to weigh myself all the time? 

I was so happy with who I was becoming and what I saw in the mirror. How do I get that happiness back?

This is what I need to do!

Until next time~

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