Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A Heavy Heart

An amazing friend of mine is dying from cancer and my heart is heavy with sadness I just can't shake. She's too young, too full of life to die. My heart breaks for her husband, her boys and her mom. 

I went to say goodbye to her this past Sunday. As we sat in the room with her, she seemed so much at peace. She was giving advice and reassuring all of us in the room. She even told me I need to open my own baking business since my cake bites are so good! I didn't cry until the end of the visit when we each said goodbye. As she told me that she would tell Rod hello for me, have a beer and watch a NASCAR race with him. As she told me that she loved me and that I will do great things in my life. That's when the tears came. 

My heart goes out to her husband and knowing the heartache and the pain he's going to be feeling soon. Because of that, I'm being brought back to the period when Rod passed away. Remembering all of those intense feelings, and feeling many of them all over again. I know some people in my life don't understand the sadness that I'm feeling right now. But it's been 10 months. Just 10 months where yes, I've moved on with my life, but those feelings are still very raw. And losing someone else so close to me is bringing all of those feelings back to the surface. It makes me feel very much alone.

Right now, I just wish peace to my dear friend and her family. You are all definitely loved and are in everyone's thoughts and prayers. 


  1. You are correct that she is to young and to full of life to be leaving us. I love how even in her condition she is still taking care of everyone and lending advice like only she can. She is a wonderful person and heaven will surly be having a welcome party for her. I am sure Rod will feel over joyed to see a great friend arrive to be with him. I can only imagine what feelings you are having but know that we all have heavy hearts as we continue to pray for Karen and her family. She is correct you will do great things with you life!!! You are a wonderful person with a great heart and personality. most of all you are loved by those that know you!


    1. In the midst of this sadness, I'm so glad that we all have each other to rely on. That we're all grieving together and are supporting one another. Thank you, Rachael!