Monday, June 25, 2012

On the Ledge

After your spouse dies, how do you know how to move on with your life while still honoring your spouse? Right now I feel as if I'm standing on a ledge, balancing my life between grieving and moving on. Struggling with knowing what's right and when it's okay to let go.

I feel bogged down with worry about people thinking that I'm moving on too soon. Not honoring my life with Rod properly. 

At the same time, I feel like I'm ready to go out and meet new people. Start having fun again. Maybe not date quite yet, but just get out there in the world and feel pretty and happy. Things I haven't felt in a long time.

I'm just scared about getting back out there. Scared about what people will think. Scared about telling people that I'm a widow. Just scared.

For now, I'm trying to get out there and do things on my own. I went out to dinner for the first time by myself a couple of weeks ago. I'm trying to find something to do on weekends so I'm not sitting at home.

I need to figure out who I am as the former "Mrs. Torkelson." Because I don't feel like a Mrs. anymore. But I don't feel like my single self any more either. Who am I now without Rod? And will figuring that out hurt my memory of Rod and our life together?

How do I let go and float off this ledge?

Photo found here.

Friday, June 22, 2012

High Five for Friday

Does this resemble your work week??

I love it! Snoopy is the best.

So, let's get to our weekly High Five for Friday link up with Lauren at From My Grey Desk ...
I'm officially signed up (enrolled?) with Isagenix so I can sell it!!! I really believe in this product and think it can do wonders for your health. I have done lots of research on it and and the company, and have decided to join. I am very excited!! Check out my website here and if you're interested, please leave me a comment with your email and I'll contact you! It would ship directly to your house so you don't have to live near me or know me personally to put in an order.

 I've been trying so hard not to wash my hair every day of the week. I know, it's bad to wash daily, but other than a ponytail I don't know what to do with my hair on day two! This week I decided to try and curl it. The result? Cute, beachy waves!!

Yesterday my kitchen sink faucet started spraying water all over the kitchen (and me) when I went to go do dishes. I called my landlord who came right over. After 30 minutes of trying to get it fixed, he finally figured out that all it needed was to be tightened!! Seriously? How embarrassing! I should have been able to figure that out on my own!!

Last Sunday was Father's Day. I spent the weekend at my parents' house and it was nice to spend time with them. My dad is impossible to shop for - well, at least for me! He likes hunting, fishing and working on tractors. Things I know nothing about! So, for his present, I bought him Miller Light, Mike's Hard Lemonade and made him homemade cookies. Perfect!

Last Friday night I went out to dinner alone for the first time since Rod passed. I thought it was about time. Doing things alone is scary! But, I have to get used to it, don't I????

I hope you all had a wonderful week!
Until next time~

Thursday, June 21, 2012


Do you ever struggle with keeping up with your healthy eating plan and making to the gym or getting in a good workout? Sometimes I find it so hard to keep up with my new lifestyle. It's so easy to fall back into all my old, unhealthy habits. 

So, where do you find the motivation to keep it up? 

Here are a few of my favorite motivation tools ...

One: Visualize how you want to look. 
Yes, this really works for me! Although I'll never come close to looking like a Victoria's Secret model, they do provide great inspiration! I also picked out a few things that I want to be able to wear and feel pretty in, and use the visualization trick of how I'll look in the outfits.

I'm buying this once I reach my goal weight! From Anthropologie.

Two: Have a goal. 
I'm not just talking about a weight goal; I'm talking about something much bigger. My goal is to take a vacation this November and wear a bikini while I'm sitting either poolside or by the beach. This also plays nicely into my visualization trick!

Three: Use social media. 
I do this two ways - one, I post how I'm doing with my healthy habits on Facebook and Twitter to share with my friends and family. They are always great with helping motivate me and share in my successes! And two, I follow companies/ websites on Twitter that provide tips, tricks and general motivation. Two of my favorite are Fab Fit Fun run by Guiliana Rancic and Lauren Conrad. Both sites provide healthy eating solutions and fun challenges to join, along with great beauty and fashion tips (things I love!).

 Four: Indulge in moderation.
If you've been craving some ice cream or a cupcake, then treat yourself to ice cream or a cupcake. If you're eating healthy and working out regularly, you're not going to gain any weight from one cupcake or a serving of ice cream. Just remember that moderation is key - don't indulge daily!

Five: Switch up your routine.
If you're tired of the same old routine at the gym, then put on your walking shoes and explore the park by your house. Or take a swim instead. Or try this 100 workout I found on Lauren Conrad's website. It's killer!!

Those are just a few ways I stay motivated. How about you? Share how you stay motivated in the comments!

Until next time~

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Getting to a Healthier Me with Isagenix

Much of this might be repeat if you read my blog on a regular basis, but I was asked to give a review of Isagenix products with my weight loss story and I thought I would share it here as well.

My journey to a healthier me began this past March. On March 4th I lost my husband to an unexpected heart attack in our home. He had just celebrated his 40th birthday the month prior. In dealing with all of this, I started to rethink the way we were living our lives - the constant baked goods, the ice cream and constant eating out - and wondering if we would have ate differently and lived a more healthy lifestyle, he would still be with me today. And, although I can't change what happened, I can change things for me. I can be healthier.

I started out my journey by changing to healthy foods - salads every day, lots of fruit - and I joined a gym. At about the same time, one of my co-workers, Carrie, started posting things on Facebook about Isagenix. She would post stories of people who were losing seven to ten pounds on a 9 day cleanse. Honestly, I was very skeptical and thought it might be a scam. No way could someone lose that much weight in nine days!

Carrie kept posting success stories, and, since I was struggling with cutting calories AND getting proper nutrition, I sat down with her at work meeting and asked her a bunch of questions about Isagenix. Although still skeptical, I was intrigued. I thought maybe this is what I needed to help with my weight loss and get proper nutrition. I had lost nine pounds previously, but I would feel hungry often and had a hard time eating the right foods. So, after lots of research, I ordered the 9 day cleanse.

The cleanse started quite well. The first two days were pre-cleanse days, and I really enjoyed the taste of the vanilla shakes, and I never felt hungry those first few days. The next two days were deep cleanse days - back-to-back days of the Cleanse for Life liquid only with some Isagenix snacks. These days were tough for me. I had a horrible headache, body aches, I craved pizza and I had little energy. However, I managed to power through it. And, on that next shake day, I did feel amazing. Lighter, somehow.

The next five days were shake days. The only issue I had on those days was having to eat a 400 to 600 calorie meal for lunch. I'm not much of a big lunch eater! So I started to break up my calories for the day with a small salad for lunch, and a small, well-balanced dinner. I had the shake as my snack before I went to the gym. This really seemed to help, and also provided me with extra energy at the gym. 

The last two days of the 9 day cleanse were those cleanse days again. This time they went by easier, but were still tough. At least I didn't have the pizza cravings or headache, but I still didn't have much energy. I just kept myself focused on all the good the cleanse was doing to my body - getting rid of the toxins - and I made it through.

In the end, I lost seven pounds while doing the 9 day cleanse and a total of 14.5 inches throughout my body. The best part is that I feel healthier, I have more energy (no more 2pm slowdown!) and I don't have cravings for sugar or fatty foods. 

I still have 15 to 20 more pounds to lose to reach my goal so I am continuing with Isagenix since I now do believe that it works. I'm still doing two shakes a day, and will be doing one cleanse day a week. I'm so happy that I found something that is helping me not only lose weight, but also get the healthy nutrients I need!

This is not a sponsored post. I bought the product on my own to help me lose weight. Isagenix does not know how I am.

Friday, June 15, 2012

High Five for Friday

This week seemed to go by quick - I'm sure I'm the only one to say that! I'm not sure why; I didn't do anything super fun or exciting, but for once, it didn't seem to drag. That's a good thing, right? And now that it's Friday, it's time to link up for the weekly High Five for Friday with Lauren at From My Grey Desk ...

I'm doing super well with the weight loss system Isagenix. I lost seven pounds during the 9 day cleanse and that has helped me reach 16 total pounds gone. I'm excited to keep using the system and keep losing the weight. I want to reach my goal weight and be able to wear a swimsuit soon! And, feel cute in a swimsuit! (Is that even possible??)

Speaking of swimsuits, I like looking for ones to help keep me motivated. These are some of my favorite that some day I hope I can wear ~

Thought this retro style would be cute while I'm losing the weight - from the Orchid Boutique.

Not sure I'll ever be able to wear a bikini, but I like this one from Victoria's Secret.

Victoria's Secret is having their semi-annual sale, and I decided to take a gamble and order some clothes since they were such a great deal. I bought a few tanks and a pair of shorts in size medium and they fit!!! The shorts are drawstring so they'll continue to fit as I lose weight as well. 

As you can tell, I'm a little happy that I'm losing weight!

Today I am baking cookies. I am very excited about this!! I used to bake every weekend, but after my husband passed, I stopped baking and have only baked once since the beginning on March. One, because I don't have any one to bake for, and two, because I don't want baked goods around the house when I'm trying to get healthy. However, with it being Father's Day on Sunday, I want to bake my dad some cookies. So I'm making these guys today .... can't wait to sneak some batter!!

Oreo Fudge Cookies

Do you think I could pull this look off? I am in LOVE with this look!

Until next time~

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Power of Isagenix

I have this co-worker, Carrie, that sells a product called Isagenix. She kept posting things on Facebook about people who were on it that would lose seven or more pounds on a nine day cleanse. Honestly, I thought it was either a scam or an over-exaggeration. No way could you lose seven pounds in nine days!! 

For about five weeks I watched her post success stories until I finally started asking questions ...
Do you really not eat for nine days? (You do eat!)
Is the weight loss real weight or just water weight? (Real weight!)
How does it taste? (Surprisingly good - I liked the shakes and cleanse, the snacks were just okay.)
Can I drink coffee? (It's not part of the plan, but I do have a cup of coffee some days.)

Carrie did great answering all of my questions and being really patient with me as I debated back and forth on spending the money to try it. Finally, after doing lots of research on the Isagenix website and the Internet, I decided to try it. I figured the cost of trying it was worth it if it was going to help me not only lose weight, but also feel healthier.

So, I'm sure you're asking, what is Isagenix? Isagenix is a line of products that work to provide simple dietary solutions based on science to help you lose weight, and then maintain that healthy body weight. They have many products including shakes, cleanses, vitamins, snacks, chocolate - too many to list! And they all work together to help you become a healthier version of yourself. 

I chose to do the 9 day cleanse that Carrie was constantly selling. With the package, I got the shake mixture, two bottles of cleanse, snacks and the Natural Accelerator. It was a lot!

All the products that came with the 9 day cleanse.

The 9 day cleanse works like this: (It's really 11 days - why is not called the 11 day cleanse??)
  • Start with two pre-cleanse days where you replace two meals with the shakes, then eat a balanced 400-600 calorie meal. You also take two accelerators during these days, along with a snack.
  • Then, you do two cleanse days days back to back where you drink the cleanse liquid 4 times a day, with the snacks they provide three times a day and two accelerators. 
  • After you're dying to eat, you have five shake days just like the pre-cleanse days.
  • Finally, you do two more cleanse days back to back just like the first two.

I'm not going to lie, those cleanse days are tough, but somehow you make it through by reaching out for support and remembering the good that the cleanse is doing ...

This is what the website has to say about the cleanse: "Cleanse for Life helps give your body the nutrition it needs to cleanse itself naturally, and unlike other “cleanses,” laxatives or diuretics that can deplete your body, Cleanse for Life nourishes and feeds your whole body with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and botanicals." 

Of course, since you're not eating anything other than these tiny little wafers for snacks, you get hungry. The first two cleanse days were the worst for me. All I wanted was a pizza. But, after I made it through them, I really felt more energized. And I was so happy to eat the next day!! (And I did not have pizza!) I also had headaches and body aches, but after doing some research, I found that those are some side effects due to the toxins releasing. And nothing horrible, just normal aches. Advil took care of those.

The shake days for me were amazing. The shakes taste surprisingly good (much better than Slim Fast) and fill you up so you don't feel hungry. I also love the convenience of the shakes. So much easier than making so much meals for just me.

I did have a hard time eating such a big meal, especially since they advise you to eat it for lunch. I like small lunches - just a salad. So I was forcing myself to eat and would lose energy by the time I went to the gym after work. I started splitting my meal into two smaller meals and that really helped keep my energy up. I have one shake in the morning for breakfast, a small salad at lunch, my second shake as a snack in the afternoon, and a light dinner. It keeps my energy up and also keeps from getting super hungry after the gym. I track my calories on an iPad app to make sure I don't go over the 400-600 calories a day. 

In the end, when I took my measurements, I lost 7 pounds and 14.5 inches. In 11 days. Whoo-hoo!!

I still have more weight to lose so I'm going to continue using Isagenix. It is a product that I now believe in and would encourage others who want to lose weight a healthy way to try it as well. This time around I just ordered the shake mixture and cleanse liquid. I'm going to keep doing the two shakes a day, and just one cleanse day a week. I also still have the Natural Accelerator and snacks leftover so I'll continue to use those as well. Honestly, the cost isn't a big deal for me. I would spend about the same amount on groceries anyway, so I just use part of my monthly grocery budget for Isagenix now.

So, if I've convinced you to try a weight loss product that is working for me, please check out the link below. I can get you in touch with Carrie and she would be happy to help you out! And I might even start to sell it soon!

Seriously, if you want to lose weight the healthy way - look into it!! 

**This is NOT a sponsored post. I bought the product on my own for my own personal use. Isagenix has no idea who I am.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Inspiring Words via Pinterest

Yesterday I felt pretty down ... unhappy with myself and my life. Add this to how I felt last week and I've had a pretty down month so far. Boo. 

So last night I decided to find some inspiring words on Pinterest to remember during these tough times. I just love inspirational sayings and how they remind you that you're in control of your life and happiness. And that things will get better. 

I hope these inspire you, too!
Until next time~

Friday, June 8, 2012

High Five for Friday

This week seemed to drag in the beginning of the week, but now I'm surprised it's already Friday. Weird, huh? Well, it is Friday. That means it's time for High Five for Friday with Lauren at From My Grey Desk where I share the good things about my week. 

So let's get to it, shall we?

This weekend I finally made it to the greenhouse and bought some flowers to plant. I'm only doing one container (as of now!) so I stuffed it as full as I could. I love flowers on my patio!!

Over the weekend I also painted my old, worn out patio table this gorgeous coral color. I am in love with it!!! My furniture is brown so this color adds a beautiful pop of color. I am so glad I chose this color.

My parents came to visit this past Sunday. (Yes, I had a busy weekend!) My mom bought me this pretty flowers and my dad was nice enough to replace the propane tank on my grill. I love my parents, and greatly appreciate everything they do for me!!

Daisies are my favorite flower!

This week I started a "9 day cleanse" from Isagenix. Have you heard of Isagenix? Well, one of my co-workers sells it and finally convinced me to try it. I have lost 5 pounds so far this week! I replace two meals a day with a shake, and also do two cleanse days a week. So far I would say it's worth it. Check back next week for a full blog post about my experience!

I was having a crabby week, so to make myself feel better I decided to get dressed up in a pretty maxi dress for the day. It helps to get dressed up even if you're not doing anything special!

I love maxi dresses!

(I can't resist adding one more!)
I brought these furry little monsters to the vet this week and they got a clean bill of health! I, however, almost fainted seeing the vet bill.

The neighborhood watch dogs.

I hope you all had a wonderful week! Remember to be thankful for the little things in life.

Until next time~

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Three Months

Yesterday marked three months since Rod passed away. It's still unbelievable. And when the 4th comes around, I just feel like there is a black cloud of sadness hanging over me.

It's hard to stay upbeat and positive when all I can think about is what happened that day in March and how every day for the rest of my life, I will have to move on without him.

Last night I couldn't sleep; my thoughts were filled with memories of him. Memories of when I first met him and how sarcastic he was. Memories of our first holiday together and how insane he thought I was with all my decorations. Memories of our wedding day and just how happy we were. Memories of when we picked out our puppies and how funny house training was with each of them and Rod having to clean up after them. 

I try to focus on those good memories, rather than the bad, but sometimes those creep in as well. I'm trying to remember him as the great man he was. The man who loved me. The man who would do anything for me and his family and friends. Yes, he had flaws, as we all do. And yes, our marriage had flaws, as all marriages do. But, in the end we were happy. And I miss the laughter and happiness he brought to my life.

Friday, June 1, 2012

High Five for Friday

 It's Friday. Although Monday was a holiday making this a short week, it was a sad holiday for me and I've been dragging all week. This week's post is going to be hard trying to find the good things! But, let's get to it and link up with Lauren at From My Grey Desk for the weekly High Five for Friday.

I had my weekly weigh in today and I lost two more pounds! Whoo-hoo! I'm looking forward to losing some more and being able to go shopping for cute clothes!

I signed my new lease for my home yesterday so that means I'll be staying here for at least another year. Other than one horrible neighbor, I really like it here so I'm happy I can stay for another year. Plus, I just couldn't handle the stress of looking for a new place to live and having to pack everything up. 

I  bought the new John Mayer album, Born and Raised, yesterday. I love it!!

My lovely neighbors Amber and Joe invited me over for a Memorial Day BBQ. I enjoyed spending the evening with them and having some good food!

This face makes everything better. 

Too tired to play!

I hope everyone had a good week and enjoyed their holiday weekend.

Until next time~