Today is Memorial Day. Another holiday without my husband, my partner. Another day to reflect on how much I miss him.
I understand the true reason for Memorial Day - a holiday to honor those who have paid the ultimate price to ensure our freedom. I always remember to stop and give thanks for the many who have died protecting that freedom on this day. But Memorial Day also brings back strong memories of those in my life who have passed away, and this year, I'm especially thinking of Rod.
I keep looking at his urn. Our wedding rings stacked on top of it. I wish I could wear his ring today. I wish I would have gotten it re-sized to fit my finger. Ultimately, I wish he was still wearing it. And we were grilling up some delicious dinner today.
I'm trying. I'm trying hard to push on with life. To "get over it" as people so eloquently say. I'm trying to be cheerful, to be happy, to live every day without him with a smile on my face. But, there are many days like today that the sadness takes over. And I just miss him so much.