In only three days, on July 15th, I will be "celebrating" the day I got married for the first time without my husband. It would have been our sixth wedding anniversary.
I've been asked a couple of times how I think I'm going to handle that day. How I will be feeling.
The truth? I have no idea.
Will I wake up and be okay remembering the perfect, fun filled wedding day? Or will I wake up sad and be depressed throughout the day remembering that I will no longer celebrate this anniversary?
I just cannot fathom how I'm going to feel. But, in preparation of this big day, I've been busy. Planning a mini getaway to get out of town, out of our home, and have some down time to either remember in sadness or celebrate the sweet memories. I even bought a new dress to wear out to dinner that night since on every anniversary, we've gotten dressed up and gone out for dinner.
They say time heals. With every passing day wounds are healed and happiness starts to take its place. And I believe that. I feel it happening with me. At first, I felt pain and sadness that I never thought possible. That I never would wish on anyone. But now, four months later, I truly am doing okay. I have learned to live on my own. I have opened myself up to this next phase of my life.
But, what happens when a day comes that forces you to remember? Remember that you are no longer married. That the husband you loved with all your being was taken from you.
Well ... I'll keep you posted on that.
Until next time~