Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Three Months

Yesterday marked three months since Rod passed away. It's still unbelievable. And when the 4th comes around, I just feel like there is a black cloud of sadness hanging over me.

It's hard to stay upbeat and positive when all I can think about is what happened that day in March and how every day for the rest of my life, I will have to move on without him.

Last night I couldn't sleep; my thoughts were filled with memories of him. Memories of when I first met him and how sarcastic he was. Memories of our first holiday together and how insane he thought I was with all my decorations. Memories of our wedding day and just how happy we were. Memories of when we picked out our puppies and how funny house training was with each of them and Rod having to clean up after them. 

I try to focus on those good memories, rather than the bad, but sometimes those creep in as well. I'm trying to remember him as the great man he was. The man who loved me. The man who would do anything for me and his family and friends. Yes, he had flaws, as we all do. And yes, our marriage had flaws, as all marriages do. But, in the end we were happy. And I miss the laughter and happiness he brought to my life.

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