Monday, April 2, 2012

Finding Our Home

Rod and I have lived in a few houses in our short life together, but I never felt like we had a home until we moved into our current house in Ramsey. This might seem odd to some people since we rent and the house doesn't belong to us, but to us it makes sense that it feels like home.

I remember when we first came to see this house. We were on a desperate search to find a house to rent somewhere around the metro suburbs. We had looked at many different places, and just didn't feel a connection to any of them, and many felt dirty. We had looked at another townhome in Ramsey, and I remember telling Rod that I really liked the area, but that townhome was cramped and had no yard space at all. So, we narrowed our search to the area and found this house listed online. The rent was affordable so we made an appointment to come look at it. We looked up the directions on the map prior to going, and got completely lost! We ended up in some housing development with not a townhome in sight. Eventually we got to where we belonged and met with the rental agent.

We walked in to the house, and I remember Rod looking at me with this look on his face like he thought I hated it. I found out when we were leaving that he really thought I did hate it because when you walk into our home, there is just this small entrance way off the main door and garage and you have to walk up a flight of stairs immediately. But, I remember walking up the stairs, and seeing the space and seeing the potential. The kitchen might have had red walls, the living room was peach, but I saw past the colors and saw the open space; I could even see our furniture in the rooms. I remember liking it right away and started to get super excited. We filled out the application right away and fought hard to get it. I really wanted them to choose us to rent the house, and they finally agreed to letting us rent!

After a few weeks in our new house, it already felt like it was becoming our home. I loved the neighborhood, the convenience of being close to shopping, and I felt safe here. The owners of the house have become friends and they've allowed us to personalize the space. I love what we've done and how we were able to make this our home. I love the yellow master bedroom, the gray kitchen and living room, and our wall of stripes. I love that I could be cooking dinner, but talking with Rod while we was in the living room about our days. I love that Rod and I were able to finally pick out our own furniture that fit perfectly in the space. I love that we took a house and made it into our home.

Many people have asked me if I'm going to stay here now that Rod is gone. My hope is that I can afford to stay here for at least another year. This home is filled with so many memories, and I can feel Rod all around me. Even though I am haunted by what happened the night he passed away, the good memories are crowding out that one bad one. We worked hard on this house, and I believe that it's the perfect place for me to be right now. I think Rod would want me to stay here as well.

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